I think my daughters have PMS. They’re 5 and 7

No, really. I seriously think we are in full on hormonal crazy town around here. Why else would they be sobbing over “She said I’m mean! I am not mean Mom!” “Tell her to let me watch Handy Manny! I don’t want Big Time Rush!”

*Wailing and flailing*

Meanwhile I’m hiding out somewhere trying to devise an escape plan.

Seriously, how do people survive it when they reach teenager status? I am going to need a strait jacket and a ban on sharp objects. Criminey, who knew that it was so important to have a certain color of hair elastic? Not this chick. I have two brothers. I hunted and caught turtles. With my teeth.

Okay, shush. I’m exaggerating. About the teeth part. I did have pet turtles, salamanders, frogs, snakes…..

But seriously, I wore high tops and jeans and a pony tail. Cheap dollar store sunglasses with neon orange frames. I liked every color but pink, thank you very fucking much.

I will admit that I might have had a small issue with a crush on a certain boy band….*singing to myself*  I think you know them.

Y’all better stop laughing at me! You know you were watching them too. Um, and I had no idea they went and tried to go R&B. Um…it’s painful to me. Donnie and Joey went and are amazeballs actors. Jon is gay, so making him sing to chicks is totally uncool. Danny is a music producer, and he can like, bench press cars. Someone needs to not do this shit to these dudes! I mean, I get it Jordan. You wanted an excuse to regrow your tail and have chicks yank it. But dude….there’s just no splainin’ away this pain:


Of course, now I have to deal with endless endless endless One Direction.

And I now cannot stop singing it! ~headdesk~

But it’s totally better than what I was listening to. Sorry NKOTB. So, so sorry.

….“and we partied all night to the best song ever…I know you know I know you’ll remember me”…….

Comments (2)

  1. Liz @ Fictional Candy March 20, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Ok, don’t be hating on Jordan. I loved him then, and I loved him now.

    And my daughter is 5… she’s got a bit of tomboy in her, but she just told me she kissed a boy and she loved it. And nope, not her first time either. Oh, and let’s not forget the stomping around because she doesn’t have a pretty dress to wear – in actual subzero temps. Seriously?

    I’m not making it to the teen years. I’m totally pulling the parachute cord before then. I hope grandma and grandpa have an extra room for her.


  2. Jessica Hale(Parsons) March 20, 2014 at 11:30 pm

    my daughter isn’t even three yet and she is already demanding and she won’t wear dresses or skirts, doesn’t really like anything in her hair and enjoys listening to the hex girls from scooby doo, she is already a handful so not looking forward to teen years

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